Happiness

I had a conversation with my aunt yesterday about where happiness comes from.  She says in order to attain true happiness,  people really need to stop worrying about money but rather focus in family and your loved ones.  I totally agree .. but the problem is, I feel like I've done those before, yet I still haven't truly really been happy at all.  I am really unhappy actually. 

I feel really stressed right now.  I really am not prepared for the Design Patterns exam tomorrow and on top of that there is Num Anal homework, Lab, and the Microsoft interview.
I really feel like giving up right now. But isn't that stupid? Spending all my life, working hard to achieve what so-called "success" and yet right now I really don't want it anymore. 
I really don't know.  I just really want more time to enjoy things.  I want it to be like back then when I can enjoy my life.. smile at little things in life and love things that happen everyday in my life.

My life changes so dramatically that I can no longer keep up.  I feel like I'm not even fitting in my own life right now. 

I just want to be happy... isn't that too much to ask?

Sunday morning...

It's another Sunday again.  It's always Sunday that I start to get anxious about school again.  I don't really want next week to start because I know it isn't going to be easy at all.  Design Patterns, Micro P lab, and then Database exam, along with the project... AND Microsoft interview ...
Life just seems super stressful at the moment.

So I rewatched Karate Kid today and it was pretty good still.  I like that movie a lot.

I'm not really sure where to go anymore.  It's already been 2 months and the same thought is still sticking in my head.  The more I try to forget, the more it comes back to haunt me.  And the more I try to convince myself that this isn't going work, it will not go anywhere... the more doubts I have in myself.
Why can't I be decisive?  I hate indecisive people, but at the same time, why am I so indecisive this time?
I no longer want to think about this anymore, yet I'm always thinking about it.. constantly.
I feel like I'm stuck in an infinite loop that even by pressing Ctrl + C , it wouldn't help breaking it out.

Ideas

I think I just came up with an idea for a game. It should be pretty awesome if I get it to work correctly.

Song ideas

Am Dm G C F Bm E Am

Chorus
Dm G C F Em7 E Am A

for now

Why can't life be easy?

I feel so tired right now.. exams, grandpa's health, money, bills, my love life. Everything is just all coming up at the same time. I feel really stressed right now.

Meh sunday...

For some reason, I never really like Sundays . Maybe it signifies the last day I have before I have school the next day ... or maybe I haven't had much sleep on Sunday night lately because of labs.
But today, the reason isn't really the same.  I woke up feeling really empty and don't really know what to do.  Just sitting here pondering about what things I can do for the next few hours before heading back to my apartment again.
Emotionally, I don't feel great at all .  It's an indescribable feeling... I feel like no one really understands me. 
I don't know .. maybe if I go and program something cool, I would feel better, or if I find something good and worthwhile to read, that'd be even better.
I want this sadness to go away.  I want to be back to my happy self without having to put on a fake smile on my face everyday. 

You know...

I want to write a song :)

Finally the answer

It seems like the question I've been looking for the past couple months has been answered.   Although it's not pleasant and I expected it not to be pleasant too, so I'm kinda prepared for it.
It hurts still though.. a lot.  I haven't felt like this for a while now, probably since 11th grade. A few months ago is more like upset/mad rather than how I feel like now.  I'm not happy at all. I'm really not myself right now.  I don't have any confidence in me at the moment.  Everything just seems to be gone. I feel a little pathetic right now about myself. 
Why am I so attached to her?
I hate to feel like this. I don't like this at all.  Why does it always happen to me? 

Guitar..

For some reason, I don't feel sleepy at all, although I should be going to sleep right now and get some rest before school tomorrow or at least work on the rest of the AI project instead of ... just sitting here playing the guitar.

I'm trying to play Love by CNBlue. It's really cool song .. I just don't know how to pronounce those words ... but ... it's a good song. I'll try to cover it this weekend.

Nite!

I'm gonna become .. the Pirate King

I like reading One Piece. I've been reading this manga for about 7 years now and it gets better and better every chapter.  Oda is definitely one of the best mangaka(if not THE best) out there.

I like the story line a lot.  It talks about friendship and the importance of friendship and also talk about how people can achieve their dreams although it might sound impossible or ridiculous.

Today's chapter is awesome.  It's something I've been waiting for a half a year now, seeing Luffy and his crew reunite together for some new adventures.  And more importantly, the last page of today's chapter made my day.  "I''m gonna become The Pirate KING" ... A very ambitious dream and very assertive statement, just like how I would describe myself. Although he failed numerous times, he just become stronger and stronger to overcome those hardship which is something I really admire. 

I want to become the best person in the world and I will do it!

Almost there ...

After the quick break, I feel more energetic and went ahead to implement my new thought of how to implement the check for horizontal and vertical and luckily they work!!!
So implementing the diagonal checking wasn't hard at all. It's a lot of reusing code which is bad because right now it's a lot of Copy and Paste codes into methods since the codes are really similar.  However, with the time constraint, I still haven't found a way to simplify the code yet. But I will do it once everything works correctly.
I'm just so glad that everything works fine now. The only thing that is left to do is implementing the Score (which is super easy with my way of implementation) and making a Random AI, which shouldn't be too hard.

Classical music helps a lot really! It kept me focusing to the project.

I had fun talking to my cousin in Australia as well (she's turning 21 today! Happy birthday cousin! )
Can't believe time passes by that fast.  Her 8th birthday seems just like yesterday... Time really doesn't wait for anyone.  You just have to catch up to it. 

I really want to go to Vietnam this summer. Hopefully I will be able to.

Good night!

Anime break

After consecutive hours of programming, I think it is a wise idea to take a quick little anime break and then continue with my late-night coding session.
The anime I'm currently watching right now is called Psychic Detective Yakumo.
I haven't watched any of of anime for a long time, but this one seems pretty good. Hopefully it will get better.

Late...

Surprisingly, after going to sleep quite early yesterday, I almost missed my first class this morning. I thought the clock says 8:30, but it says 9:30 instead ...
On the bright side, I think I came up with some ideas for the checking method for the AI project while I was sleeping last night.
The implementation is simply just having an extra class called Location to keep track of the row, col of where the new block is placed (each block) and use a stack to process each "Location" by row, by col, and by diagonals.  After doing that. I will add all of these "Locations" into an Array which allows no replication.
Then I will do the removing process one by one. However, I still haven't thought about how to deal with the blocks above and move them down but it shouldn't be too hard.
I had Krishna lunch on a Wednesday for the first time in 3 years ... that's pretty amazing. Their spaghetti wasn't AWESOME, but it was pretty good.   I have to say that I like the tofu.
I still have to finish the homework for Database, which I don't really want to do right now .. But I need to get a head start on it soon because it is due in about 5 hours from now.

Life is okay.  I've become more confused everyday and don't really know what happens anymore.  Sometimes it was almost like it's a 'yes', but it just seems too good to be true.  It almost seems like 'nah, I just imagined it' kinda thing. 

Listening to some classical music right now... and get ready to tackle some of that Database problems.

Here I go.......

The AI Project - Letris

Right now, part of the Letris game is done.  Users are able to input string and it will place correctly into the grid. However, the functionality to remove the blocks if 3 or more of the same type are next to each other hasn't been implemented.
I'm not really sure how I'm going to do this because you have to remove it simulatenously, which means I would have to check for all possible rows/columns/diagonals.
Rows are columns sound reasonable, but I'm still not sure how I'm going to implement the diagonals.
It seems like a pretty complicated task and I'm thinking of only checking the block that's just dropped rather than checking through the whole board, because it would not make sense and would be very complicated.
I'm going to sleep now and I'm gonna try to think about it as I sleep.

Good night World! (or rather, half of the world!)

Productive Day!

Forgot my charger , so I had to drive back home to get it.

Today is a pretty productive day.

Finally managed to finish my Artificial Intelligence Homework as well as Design Patterns homework early for once. 

Next goal is to finish Database homework and get a start on the AI project.

This is my first blog post ever on here.