Happiness

I had a conversation with my aunt yesterday about where happiness comes from.  She says in order to attain true happiness,  people really need to stop worrying about money but rather focus in family and your loved ones.  I totally agree .. but the problem is, I feel like I've done those before, yet I still haven't truly really been happy at all.  I am really unhappy actually. 

I feel really stressed right now.  I really am not prepared for the Design Patterns exam tomorrow and on top of that there is Num Anal homework, Lab, and the Microsoft interview.
I really feel like giving up right now. But isn't that stupid? Spending all my life, working hard to achieve what so-called "success" and yet right now I really don't want it anymore. 
I really don't know.  I just really want more time to enjoy things.  I want it to be like back then when I can enjoy my life.. smile at little things in life and love things that happen everyday in my life.

My life changes so dramatically that I can no longer keep up.  I feel like I'm not even fitting in my own life right now. 

I just want to be happy... isn't that too much to ask?

Sunday morning...

It's another Sunday again.  It's always Sunday that I start to get anxious about school again.  I don't really want next week to start because I know it isn't going to be easy at all.  Design Patterns, Micro P lab, and then Database exam, along with the project... AND Microsoft interview ...
Life just seems super stressful at the moment.

So I rewatched Karate Kid today and it was pretty good still.  I like that movie a lot.

I'm not really sure where to go anymore.  It's already been 2 months and the same thought is still sticking in my head.  The more I try to forget, the more it comes back to haunt me.  And the more I try to convince myself that this isn't going work, it will not go anywhere... the more doubts I have in myself.
Why can't I be decisive?  I hate indecisive people, but at the same time, why am I so indecisive this time?
I no longer want to think about this anymore, yet I'm always thinking about it.. constantly.
I feel like I'm stuck in an infinite loop that even by pressing Ctrl + C , it wouldn't help breaking it out.

Ideas

I think I just came up with an idea for a game. It should be pretty awesome if I get it to work correctly.

Song ideas

Am Dm G C F Bm E Am

Chorus
Dm G C F Em7 E Am A

for now

Why can't life be easy?

I feel so tired right now.. exams, grandpa's health, money, bills, my love life. Everything is just all coming up at the same time. I feel really stressed right now.

Meh sunday...

For some reason, I never really like Sundays . Maybe it signifies the last day I have before I have school the next day ... or maybe I haven't had much sleep on Sunday night lately because of labs.
But today, the reason isn't really the same.  I woke up feeling really empty and don't really know what to do.  Just sitting here pondering about what things I can do for the next few hours before heading back to my apartment again.
Emotionally, I don't feel great at all .  It's an indescribable feeling... I feel like no one really understands me. 
I don't know .. maybe if I go and program something cool, I would feel better, or if I find something good and worthwhile to read, that'd be even better.
I want this sadness to go away.  I want to be back to my happy self without having to put on a fake smile on my face everyday. 

You know...

I want to write a song :)